Still
by lifeisbeautiful0
Summary: Based on what Det. Blackstone said in ep 4x05 about Andy and Nick getting a couple of days off being UC. My take of what could (should) have happened regarding Andy/Sam.


Tucking in the last of her clothes that she would be needing for their weekend away, Andy zipped up her rucksack and did a final look around the room to make sure that she hadn't forgotten anything that she had had in mind to take with her. When her eyes fell upon her phone once again, she let out a deep sigh and collapsed onto the bed, picking up the offending object as she did so. She had did her best to ignore her urges ever since Blackstone had told them that they could have the weekend off from being undercover and do whatever they liked. Though that had only been 7 hours ago, her and Nick had already made plans with what to do with that time, but that didn't stop her from wondering.

Calling out Nick's name just to make sure that he hadn't come back in the time it had taken her to pack up, she unlocked the phone and typed in a number she knew by heart when she didn't get a reply. She hit the dial button before she could chicken out, heart pounding as it rang. When the person on the other end finally picked up, Andy wasn't sure if she would be able to hear right considering the blood that was currently pounding in her ears.

"Hello?" the recipient of the call, the man who she hadn't spoken to or seen for the last 2 and a half months but had thought about every day, said. There was a hint of uncertainty and gruffness to his voice that she recognised came from the fact that she was calling from a private and secured number.

"Hey," she managed to get out awkwardly before clearing her throat and trying again. "Hey."

_"Andy?" _came the surprised and much more alert reply, and she couldn't stop the smile that pulled wryly at her lips at the positive tone.

"Yeah, its me, Sam," she answered softly. "How are you?"

"I'm- Uh, I'm good," he replied in his standard basic way. "How are _you_?"

"Yeah, I'm good, too," she repeated. "Are you busy?" she asked, not sure what else to say.

"No, no. I, um, have the day off," Sam told her, his hesitant words and slightly questioning tone betraying his words.

"Are you sure? You sound busy."

"I'm not busy, McNally. Just reading," he clarified. Hearing him call her by her last name once again made her heart lift and smile, but the latter part of the sentence made her curious.

"'Moby Dick' again?" she asked with a teasing lilt. He chuckled at that and she could hear a pen hitting a wooden surface as he exhaled. She knew what he was thinking because she was thinking it too, about how they had fallen into what seemed like a normal conversation between two friends when they hadn't been that when she had left let alone having that been 10 weeks beforehand. But he answered anyway.

"Nope, but this is probably longer and much more boring," he informed her.

"What is it?" Andy asked, curiosity winning out. There's a pregnant pause, and she sucked in breath, knowing that she might have just crossed the line. "Sorry, never mind-"

"Its about the detective's exam," Sam cut her off to tell her. If she had been surprised before by their conversation, this really topped it all. Eyebrows raised though he couldn't see, she had to question him again.

"Detective's exam?" she repeated. "You're going for detective?"

"That's usually what happens with the detective's exam, McNally," he teased and her stomach flipped again.

"But- _Why?_" she asked, laying back onto her bed with her phone to her ear. "You love walking the streets and working the beat."

There's another pause before he answered. "Its time for a change," was all he said. "I need to do this." _for us. _It wasn't said but she knew it was implied, what with everything that he had told her the day that she had left. How he loved her and would do anything to make it up to her. Make it up to her after he had left her in the rain of the Penny before he couldn't do his job and be with her.

Andy sighed, making the connection instantly. "I would have came," she said instead, sitting up once again. "To the Penny. I was on my way, I had made my mind up to come. But then Luke found me and told me we had to leave then."

"I know, Andy. I get it; its ok," Sam reassured her though his tone betrayed him once again and the nonchalance that he tried to portray came out tight and edgy.

"Blackstone gave us the weekend off," she told him with a small shrug, already feeling the emotions capture in her throat as she thought about the reasons for the phone call.

"I figured," he said, clearing his throat too. "Are you coming home?"

"I can't," she replied with a shake of the head, knowing he couldn't see. "I can't, Sam. I _want_ to, but I can't."

"Ok," was all that he said. She could hear the confusion and the hurt in the simple reply but knew that he wouldn't ask because that just wasn't who he was.

"We need to talk," Andy said, picking at the edge of the afghan that was beneath her legs to occupy her hands as she couldn't do anything else but sit there as they have the conversation that she had planned in her head for the last 10 weeks.

"Then let's talk," Sam said, straightforwardly.

"No, not now."

"Why not?"

"Because this isn't a over-the-phone conversation," she told him. "We need to talk about everything, about before and about now. We need to start things off with a clean slate and we can't do that in a phone call or just two days. I- If I came home right now, I wouldn't be able to leave again. Do you understand?"

"Not really," he answered truthfully with a sigh, and Andy had to choke back a watery laugh at his brutal honesty. "I just want to see you, Andy. Nothing else."

"The last time we started, you were undercover-"

"This isn't like last time," Sam interrupted but she carried on anyway.

"-and look how that ended." When he tried to argue with her once again, she cut him off this time. "Let me finish, Sam. Please? I didn't want to call you this weekend but I have and now- Just let me finish, ok?"

"Fine. But only 'cause you said 'please'." Andy smiled at that, putting her at ease enough to carry on with what she had been saying.

"We can't do normal, or whatever normal is for us, if we do this again. I didn't want to break out of this UC, even for the weekend. But I kept thinking about how I left you and what you had said, and all I had wanted was to get a message to you to tell you that I was going to come. And then we had this weekend to be free and I couldn't pass it up. But Sam," she paused to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "I want us to try again. I want it all again, but you have to promise me you won't ever leave again. You can't just walk out on me like you did, not again. Not if I give you another chance." She knew her voice was wobbling and the tears that had fallen was clear in her words but she didn't care. For once, she wanted him to see the whole her, even if it was through the phone.

"I won't, Andy," he promised her softly. "I messed up, and I can't explain it away, but I won't."

She nodded even though he couldn't see. He sounded so sincere and had it been a year before, she would have taken his word and believed it. But after what they had gone through, she hated the fact that she couldn't. "You broke my heart, Sam. And my trust."

"I'm going to make it up to you. I promise," he told her, words on the edge of pleading. "I'll do anything to make it up to you; to make you trust me and love me again."

His words made her falter. She knew she didn't trust him anymore, not as much as she had previously at least, but love? "I- I still love you," she finally said.

"Yeah?" his tone perked up and he sounded almost surprised at her revelation. "I still love you, too."

"Ok," was all she could say to that. "Did you mean it? Everything you said you would do?"

"Everything down to the dog," he assured her.

"I don't want a dog," Andy told him. "I don't have time for a dog."

"Then we won't get a dog."

"That simple?"

"That simple," he said quietly. "Anything, Andy. I meant it. Anything to make you happy again."

"You might regret that one day," she teased him, rubbing her hand on her leg to stop herself from fiddling anymore.

"Nah," Sam said confidently. "Not if I have you." She had to grin at that, shaking her head and catching sight of her bag on the bed next to her again. A pang went through her, sharp and longing, wishing they didn't have all the obstacles that were still in their way to overcome before she could sink back into his arms and feel happy again.

"I miss you."

"I miss you, too. I miss you a lot," Sam told her. "So much so that I'm studying harder than I have ever done so in my life just to get my mind off of it."

"Sam," she began, not sure how to word her thoughts. "If you're doing this just so we can work, then don't. I know how much the job means to you. Maybe not as much as it means to me, but I don't want you to be unhappy with what you do and resent me for it in the long run."

"I want to be with you more than I want to be a cop, Andy. Understand that, ok?" came his reply after a beat, sure and gruff as if he was trying to drill the words into her mind. It worked because she was sort of convinced. "I don't want to do UC anymore. That's the only thing that kept me from going for detective before."

"And now?"

"Now, I'm going for detective," he answered easily. "And then I'm going to fight for you."

"You don't need to fight," Andy told him softly. "I don't know how long this case is going to take."

"That's ok. I'll be here. Ain't got nowhere else to go, McNally. You know that," Sam assured her and she let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding.

"City boy, through and through, huh?" she attempted to joke and was glad when she got a chuckle out of it. "You wouldn't like what Nick and I have planned for the weekend then."

"Oh?"

"Yup, we're going biking." She filled him in with some more of the details, making sure to leave out the more specifics just in case he decided to seek her out. Though Sam was probably the one person who knew how sensitive an undercover op was, he was a rule breaker too, and the Brennan case had proved that it extended to UC ops as well.

"Be safe, McNally," he finally said after her explanations. "This weekend and in general. You know what you're dealing with."

"I know. I will be," she assured him just as she heard the front door unlock, indicating that Nick was home. "Sam, I've got to go. I'm glad I called."

"I'm glad you called, too," Sam replied. "I'll see you soon, yeah?"

"Yeah, soon," Andy repeated, trying to sound much more optimistic than she felt.

"And Andy," Sam added just as she was about to hang up. "Call me if you ever need anything. Either of you. Ok? I know you have Blackstone, but just in case. Night or day, you call me if you need me."

"Ok," she whispered before faltering with what else to add. Luckily Sam got there before her.

"Still love you," he said teasingly and she quirked a smile at the sentiment.

"You, too."

* * *

_My first fanfic. How did I do? Was I OOC? I hope you liked it regardless. Any and all feedback welcome!_


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